It was a woman that was married with three children and a twins coming her way. According her, she was "madly" in love with her husband of over 20 years when she reunited with this old friend of hers. After few meals and chats together, she realized that she still had a feeling for this friend (this friend=men, for clarification). Cutting the long story short, she eventually slept with him and is now deeply concerned whether the twins' father is her friend's or her husband's and etc. Basically she didn't know what to do anymore.
Seriously, what was she thinking?
She was attempting to find a way to maintain her marriage while ending her so-called friendship peacefully. Does that even make sense?! Perhaps the whole advice was an outcome of desperation but was outrageous to me regardless. What completely shocks me to these days is that this kind of story is more-than-rarely told. Not knowing where to begin my thoughts, I started with how things might be in Korea these days.
From how I've been taught from my parents and in Korean culture generally, adultery was not an option in marriage. As an extreme, Korean culture often force women to leave the social life since marriage. So, I respect the American culture that encourages a degree of independence within the married couple. However, adultery should not be even considered as a form of friendship in a marraige. Maybe many American women out there assume that the friendship will remain until something more happens. So why does this friendship often lead to the bed? A lot of my friends try to explain to me as an "uncontrollable chemistry of desire formed between opposite sex". Sorry, but that doesn't quite convince me. Since when did humans solely behaved by the the heart and not the brain? What happened to the logic and reason that us humans supposely have? Then why are we saying vows to each other at a wedding ceremony; what is the purpose of that?
If one is getting too friendly because they had "a thing" before and now, then should we be concerned with our boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife's co-workers or colleagues? If he/she, accurately speaking, spends more time with them than the significant other, should we be alarmed? To me, it is this sort of story that saddens me but also doubts my judgement in relationshp. Shouldn't it be given that we trust our signifcant others?
If she had a feeling for this friend then perhaps she wasn't "madly" in love with her husband. If she had even for one second thought about her husband and children, she wouldn't dare to make that move in bed. At least I wouldn't. "Uncontrollable desire" is not an excuse I would use. Ever.
People are sometimes just pure trash and are delusional about themselves.
ReplyDeleteThey try to "keep up" with what's acceptable only to find that they aren't and can't stand it. So, they use the excuses instead of actual logic. They'll never face to the truth until it's WAAAAY too late.
I honestly think it's because the person is in something that they don't want or are not ready for and then they act out regardless.
People are selfish.
I hate people who are trashy like that. Married or not, no one should ever go and have sex with someone else if they're in a committed relationship at any level.
Maybe it's my asian upbringing too, but then again Charles isn't asian and his family doesn't believe that kind of thing is acceptable either.
In my family overseas that's grounds for death. They're fun and super old school like that.