My only brother: my bestest friend

{My brother and I at the park}

My brother and I are really close. We walked through some rough times together. Back in the vulnerable teenage period, not going to lie, I avoided my brother. My brother is slightly handicapped. He was born prematurely and with a defect on chromosome #5, which eventually caused several abnormality both mentally and physically. When I was younger, I felt like his awkwardness was affecting my image to friends. I tried to fit in and felt like my brother was in the way. Now that I'm 22, I regret that thought a lot. I feel like I have betrayed him briefly without him even noticing. I should've never thought of him in that sort of way.

Why do I have that sort of guilt? The answer is simple. He never left my side, no matter what. I admit I have before. He really looks up to me exactly the way he sees it, in a purest way possible. He never judges me, has doubts about me, or questions my actions. I wonder sometimes, how can a brother trust a sister that much. Then, I realized something since I've been returning home from college for a break. I'm the only friend he has got. I'm the only girl who can show him how to treat a girl if he ever has a girl interested in. I'm the only person whom he can act exactly like a 21 year old guy. I'm the only sibling that he has ever known.

So it's time for me to thank him for the first time. I don't recall before thanking him for being such a great brother and my bestest friend on earth. Does this make me a bad sister? He has taught me a lot of valuable lessons than no one can ever imagine. I've never seen him complaining despite numerous blood works he had to go through. He never says 'it's not ok'. He always has that bright smile no matter how sick he can get. Compared to him, I was a spoiled brat. I have never detected a pinch of selfishness from him so far. I always get an email from him every day saying how much he loves me and that he can't wait to see me during the break. He never demands for anything and expects nothing in return. As long as he could see his sister, he is the happiest man on earth.

Today (Saturday, technically), he and I hung out. We watched "Night at the Museum 2", ate lunch at Fuddrucker's, and drank ice coffee at the park. I saw that happy face of him again, and it was great. It's so great that I can be totally myself and be accepted. His love and friendship towards me are so unconditional that I get afraid whether or not I could do the same for him. I'm already sorry that I have to return to Lubbock so soon. He was definitely upset about that, but he knows he'll see me again in August.

I start thinking about the future again. I want to be able to be there for him more frequent than I am now. I know he needs me, and I realize more and more that I need his support as well. He may never get married or have a best friend, but he can still have me. I'll be there for him.