I had an enjoyable and a much-needed weekend with the boyfriend. We mostly relaxed and stayed lazy at his place, watching some football and a couple of movies. On Saturday we went out to the mall to get Z a haircut and spent the rest of the day shopping, eating at a nice sushi restaurant with his friend, and watched a movie. Perhaps, the highlight of this post is Z’s new hairdo! Z’s hairstylist was supposedly all about the doing the “hot stuff” and came up with this do, which we consider a Korean-Pop-Star hairdo. Pretty much all Korean male stars have this cut these days, and I didn’t know how I felt about Z jumping into this trend, although he didn’t ask for it. Now that I keep looking at him, I think he looks really cute. He looks younger (not that he looked old) and more charming. I demanded that he continued this look for a while. Let’s see if he really does keep this look. :)
It was also a weekend where I discovered a lot about myself. I realized how selfish I can be, how overly upset I am on small matters, how I expect Z to be perfect in everything. Funny thing is, I sometimes wish he was a genius in reading my mind, when all I had to do is let him know how I feel. That telling-your-feeling-thing is really not my forte; I usually pretend everything is alright. Of course, Z knows me well enough just from a slight change in expression that I’m NOT ok… There are literally times when I want him all to myself and not share any part of the weekend with his friends. That sounds scary possessive and selfish, huh? Hanging out with his friends always end up being really fun, but it takes me a while to let him know that I want some quality time spent with him, and him only. That’s the reason I spend 5 hours on the road, at least once a month. Plus, it’s all relative, right? – his time spent with me is very minimal compared to time spent with friends during the month. This weekend was obviously one of those times where I failed to communicate my wants, and it created unnecessary tension between us. Well, all the awkward attitudes came from my part actually. But I’m glad to admit that it had happened because it just showed how patient and kind Z is. We eventually talked through our “little” moment, and life was good again. I do like occasional “date nights”, so let’s do that sometime, ok, Z? :)
So why bother writing this extremely cheesy and yet immature story of mine in this blog? (Z – I hope you didn’t mind me sharing this story with the whole world…). I think it’s important to admit that we’re not perfect, and that we often misunderstand each other and have different expectations set in place. We work it out and better understand each other, even after almost 4 years (and hoping for many more). This is what couples go through, right?
I think most of you could agree that my blog posts have been very positive and happy. But, for the integrity of this blog, you should know that things are not always picture perfect. You get frustrated with work, issues arise in a relationship, and life just happens. As I’m getting closer to my 500th post, I’m starting to envision my blog even more honest and realistic to you all. And I know this thought initially scared me because I know most of you are either my family members or friends, and honesty can raise concerns. It’s not that I want to open my entire life to everyone, but as an original intention to use this space as my reflection of life, I want to make this more real to everyone and to myself This post is that start.
This weekend was really wonderful. Despite that little upset I had, there is no doubt in my mind that I am blessed to be in the relationship with this guy I happened to stumble upon during college. I’ll be looking forward to many more 300+ mile driving in the near future!
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